I found it interesting that so many applauded the LPGA’s assessment of a penalty for slow play on Morgan Pressel as an indication that the game’s leadership was finally getting tough on this issue. Yeah, that’s some tough stuff. Here’s my version of the thinking behind that bold move: “Look, we’ve got a problem here. We should do something about it. Hey, I’ve got an idea. See that pretty young woman with the ponytail? Yeah, her. Go kick her ass. That’ll make us look tough.”
In a way it reminds me of some advice I once heard about what to do if, God forbid, you ever wound up in prison. According to this bit of wisdom, whose veracity I have, fortunately, never had to test, you are supposed to find some guy whose ass you think you can kick, and you proceed to do so in order to convince everybody else that you’re nobody to mess with.
I’m not above admitting that one of the things I enjoy about the US Open is watching the best players in the world do the sort of stuff that I do any weekend of the year: trying to hack the ball out of the rough, only to have to hack at it again, missing three-footers, posting scores on a hole that are a multiple of par. You know, that sort of thing. I was not prepared though for the brain fart that Zach Johnson committed on the last hole of the Colonial this weekend just past. In case you missed it, Zach, with a three stroke lead, failed to move his marker back after moving it out of Jason Dufner’s line. The ensuing two-stroke penalty didn’t cost him his victory, but you don’t have to have been a math major to figure out that this sort of mistake could have had serious consequences for the Johnson family bank account.
So, it was a little unsettling to see a professional and his caddy have a simultaneous senior moment. But in a weird way, I applied a lesson from their experience just in writing this post. I was about to put down some snarky stuff about Zach’s caddy, Damon Green. You know, wondering what the eff he was thinking about, when I thought that I should check out his story before proceeding. Turns out Damon’s dad died just a few weeks ago. Thank God for the internet, and thank God I checked what I was doing before proceeding.
PS: Be sure and note that while Zach didn’t move his marker back, he doesn’t forget to adjust his right lapel so that his sponsor’s name is visible.